It’s hard. Raising a human (or multiple humans) seems like an insurmountable task, mostly because it cannot be done in just one sitting AND you have to do it while tackling your job and your personal physical and mental health.
You know, I get it. You have something going well for yourself: a personal business, your job, your social life, and it seems like you jip your kids of “learning opportunities” or time spent with family because you’re just so busy. And when you realize that you are doing this (some are lucky to catch it) you just feel awfully guilty. I’ve been there. Multiple times.
Let me tell you: I’m right there with you. I’ve been a parent for 22 years and I feel like I am still am not giving enough. It’s a feeling that eats me up when my head hits the pillow and I want to know how to get rid of it.
Luckily, I had a conversation with some of my friends who are also parents facing the same struggles of preparation and motivation.
To listen to the full podcast, click here.
I was able to get some good takeaways that I think would be good to share with you, the stays-up-asking-“I’m I really giving 100% to my children to ensure they are prepared for the future?-question-parent”
Here is how to combat the following situations:
When you’re not with them
Desire (you want this for them): You want your kid(s) to thrive when they are “set-free” into the big world (whether that’s college or the workforce). You want them to succeed when they are independent of you because they choose to be responsible and not fall to the pressure of their peers or environment.
Action: Stop weeping for yourself about the time you are not with them. If we could all quit our jobs and still get money, we would, but we can’t. Instead, start focusing on who your children are spending time with beyond you. If you take note of who they are spending time with and if they (friends/ family) encourage your kids to do better, to do more, this will help achieve your desire of responsible, independent young adults. It is good to “train them up” to make a decision by themselves and to surround themselves with positive people.
Hear Preston Stuckey, son of Alex Stuckey, and rising sophomore at Florida State University, talk more about taking on independence and responsibility in the full conversation here.
When you are with them
Desire (you want that for them): You want them to be a good human. And by “good,” I mean you want for them: good self-discipline, the power to choose to do the right thing in the situation, and the courage to fight for what’s right. You want them to help whenever they can, even when they don’t want to. AND most importantly, you want them to be happy.
Action: When you are around them, the quantity of time does not matter, so long as it is quality time where they can witness those good traits in you. Be the example of what you want your kids to be in the future, today.
Stop telling and start doing.
If you want them to realize that family is important, then make time for family. If you want them to be successful, show them persistence, responsibility, and motivation propels you to finish. If you want them to clean their room, wash your dishes after dinner. These small ripples can make lasting waves in their minds. You must understand that you cannot control them or order them; you can only lead by example and show them that there are certain principles that you won’t compromise.
So, parents, my friend-who-stays-up-wondering-about-the-future-of-your-child(ren)’s-life, stop thinking and start doing.
As my good friend, Tom Nolan says,
“Everything you do is a reflection and your kids are watching.”
Or I like to sum it up like these: kids are sponges. (Not as eloquent, but you get the point.)
So, to the busy parent, my challenge for you, right now, is to talk through your child(ren)’s goals. Why? To make yourself aware of them, to make yourself available when you can, and to motivate them until they make it.
Until then, parents, keep workin’ hard, for this is the best way to prepare your kids!
Connect with Tom Nolan on LinkedIn!
To listen to the full conversation, go to the Pete the job Guy Podcast here. Thanks for reading!